Despicable Me - Minions

Funny Doctor joke....

Two eminent psychiatrists were musing after dinner over brandies late one night, talking about life

and many philosophical issues. Then one said "How about making a pact. Whichever one moves off

into the afterlife first will come back and present in a dream what it's like." They both agreed and

some six months later unfortunately one of them died. Lo and behold three or four weeks later the

other one had a dream. There he was, talking to him, plain as day, saying how fantastic it was. But

there is good and bad news. The good news is that a select group meets each week, there is Freud

and Jung and Adler and we have just the most stimulating discussion. Each week we take it in turn to

present some topic or case. The bad news is that you are presenting next week.

Career One Easiest Job Ever!Win a trip to New York....

Funny cat!!!! Go the left hook.

Wish my Halloween was like this!

Painting the Porsche.....a great blonde joke!

Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Farting all the time

Farting All The Time
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"

Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"

The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"
"Hmm," says the Doctor,

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."